Katie is 3 months old

I can't believe that Katie is already 3 months old. I feel like time has just flown by (although sometimes it feels like the day will never end). She is at such a great age. She has become so much more aware and smiles all the time. She loves it when I sing to her, especially when we are outside. When she was born, I was a little worried about her size, but now it is wonderful. She is so active but still looks like a little baby. Don't get me wrong, she has grown so much (she is already close to 8 lbs), but she is still in newborn clothes. It is nice to still have a tiny baby, except when people give me a hard time for taking my "brand new baby" out in public. When I tell them that she is three months old they don't believe me :-) Her legs are so strong now. She can stand up pretty much supporting herself and just using our hands for balance. We tried to take some 3 month pictures today, but she only seemed to smile when the camera was not on...of course. In any case, here are some that I liked.

You can tell that Katie is going to be a football fan...she's already doing "the heizman"

She started crying and when I started singing to calm her down she fell asleep :-)

The way she looks up at her daddy is so sweet...she loves him so much.

I bought Miles, our black lab, a Halloween sweater today and thought that he should be in some of the pictures too. So...

From Week 1 to Week 11...My How Time Flies

So, I was looking at my blog and I realized that the title for my last blog was "Katie...Week 1" and decided that since Katie is now 11 weeks old, I should probably post something. Well, my life for the past several months has consisted of nothing but taking care of Katie. She has changed so much since week one, so I'll try to start from the beginning and fill everyone in.

Katie was jaundiced and had to stay under the bilirubin lights for a few days after we brought her home. It was really tough, because she had to stay under there and we were only allowed to take her out to feed her. She hated it and cried all the time. She had to wear this blindfold that she hated, and she would pull it off her head. She was only allowed to have a diaper on, so we couldn't do anything to keep her from pulling it off, so we had to keep a pretty close eye on her. I hate seeing my baby cry...it feels like it goes against my nature to sit there and listen to her cry and not do anything about it.

After about the first week, Katie started really struggling with sleeping at night. She really didn't like falling asleep unless she was in someone's arms, and the moment you would lay her down she would wake up and start crying. We started having her sleep with us in the bed, and that worked for a while, but eventually we had to find a way for her to sleep in her crib. She loves being swaddled, and that seemed to help her stay asleep when we would lay her down. I think it was because my uterus never grew and she had VERY limited room, so she is used to confined spaces. Her swaddle me blanket is really nice because she can't seem to wiggle out of it. Even at 2 weeks old she was really strong. Her legs and arms are so powerful...especially for a 5 lb. baby. She decided to show us exactly how strong she was...at two and a half weeks old she started rolling over.


The doctor told us that Katie needed to have "tummy time" twice a day, and she hated it (as you can tell by her screaming throughout the video), so she just started to roll over to avoid tummy time.

Katie also loves being in the sun. I think it has to do with the fact that she was jaundiced and sunlight breaks down the bilirubin in the body...sort of a natural defense. Anyway, she LOVES being outside, so Katie and I have started taking walks everyday. At three weeks it was pretty tough, because it was around 105 degrees outside. A little hot for my taste, but she loved it. Now that it is a little cooler, I have started to enjoy our walks a little more. It is about a mile and a half to Sonic, and I have become addicted to their Cranberry Limeades, so I have convinced myself that if I walk 3 miles I can have one.

I took Katie up to Minnesota to meet some of the extended family. I was really worried about flying alone with a 6 week old baby, but it was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. People were more than willing to help out and she was perfect on the plane. We had connecting flights, so we had 2 flights there and 2 flights back and she didn't cry on any of them. I was so proud of her. She got to meet her great-grandparents, and although she won't remember it, it meant so much to me.



Katie has become so much more aware and always seems like she is taking it all in. She started smiling about a month ago and is now smiling all the time.



Katie has started sleeping through the night (6-8 hours). It has been so nice to be able to get some sleep at night.

Katie got a cold last week, and it has been really tough. It just breaks my heart to see her sick, but what can you do when she's too little to take any sort of medication. She was really stuffed up and had a hard time breathing through her nose, so it made nursing really hard. Her fever went away Saturday and she seemed like she was getting better, but then Sunday night her fever came back. She seems to be doing better now and even though she is still a little stuffed up, she is pretty much back to her happy self.

Well, that' s all I have time for now, but hopefully I will be better about keeping this blog up-to-date.

Marybeth

Katie...Week 1

Well, Katie arrived at 2:08pm Monday July 19, 2010. It has been a busy week. I went into the hospital Sunday night and they induced me on Monday at 7:30 am. The doctor came in and checked on me, and said that things were progressing really slowly. She said there was a 60-70% chance that I would have to have a c-section, but that we wouldn't know for a long time. Originally I hadn't planned on having an epidural, but due to the high risk of a c-section the doctor requested that I have one so that they wouldn't have to put me under for the c-section. They ended up giving me the epidural pretty early on because the contractions were causing me to throw up, making it difficult to monitor the baby. After they gave me the epidural, I actually took a nap. I woke up around 12:15 and noticed that I was feeling a little pain...it turns out that the epidural was wearing off. I let one of the nurses know, and she said that the anesthesiologist was in surgery, but that he would come as soon as he gets out. About 15 minutes later my epidural was completely worn off and I was feeling everything (that's what I get for not wanting an epidural). Things had started to progress rapidly. The contractions started coming more frequently and were a lot more painful. Of course this caused me to get sick again, which was "a good thing" according to the doctor. Apparently throwing up causes the baby to move down and moves the labor on quickly. I went from 3 cm. to 10 cm. in less than an hour and I was having no break between contractions. I ended up having to start pushing before the doctor got there. The doctor showed up and said "okay, it looks like we need one more good push." just about the same time that the anesthesiologist came into the room (great timing...not). All in all, things went quickly. Labor was less than 7 hours and the actual delivery was less than 12 minutes. I cannot begin to describe how I felt when it was over. Instantly I felt relief, and the nausea that I had felt for the last 9 months was completely gone. Then I got to hold Katie...it was the most amazing thing I have ever felt. I was overcome with joy and love. It was as if, in that moment, I felt what it was like for God to feel unconditional love for me, because I knew that there was nothing in the world that she could do to make me not love her. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, and I wanted to hold her forever. Katie was a whopping 5 lbs. 2 oz. and 18 1/4 inches long. She had a full head of hair and beautiful blue eyes.

We spent the next few days in the hospital and were released on Wednesday. I felt like I had been in the hospital forever and was ready to go home. She had picked up on feeding really quickly and was sleeping through the night. I was having to set my alarm to wake her up and feed her because she was not waking up on her own...little did I know that things were going to change. I got home and felt so overwhelmed. Katie was sleeping all day and did not want to eat, and then she was awake all night and didn't want to be awake alone. She would eat every hour or two and cry the rest of the time (sometimes making me cry too). I decided that we needed to try to keep her awake more often during the day so that she would handle the nights better, and for the most part it has worked.

Thursday night she slept really well and I thought that things were looking up, but then on Friday at Katie's doctor's appointment we found out that she was jaundiced. We had to have this bed set up at the house that had lights shining on Katie. She had to wear a blindfold and she was supposed to be in the bed anytime she wasn't feeding or being changed. She hated it, and it was so hard to see her miserable. Last night was really difficult, and I don't think either of us got any sleep. However, a nurse came to the house today and checked her bilirubin levels, and said she was back to normal. It has been so nice to be able to hold her again and console her when she is crying. Since she was up all night, she has been sleeping pretty much all day. This means that we will have a semi-long night ahead of us, but hopefully we can get her into some sort of routine in the next week or so.

It has been a really long week, but it has also been one of the most wonderful weeks of my life. Katie is so beautiful and so perfect. I wouldn't trade her for the world. I have a lot to learn, but I am ready to do the best I can to care for her. She is my whole world now. I wish time could stop, because I want to keep her little forever. I know that there are joys in every stage of life, but she is so wonderful now and I wish I could keep her this way forever.

Marybeth

Katie is coming soon

We had our doctor's appointment yesterday, and didn't quite know what to expect. I hate waiting, so this past week has been stressful. Finally Wednesday was here and we were going to get the chance to meet with our doctor to see what the situation was with Katie and discuss our options...except that when we got there, our doctor was out delivering a baby. We had to wait in the waiting room until she got back, so the anticipation kept building. Finally we got to meet with our doctor and for the first time, Matt and I had a lot of questions. After a long discussion, we decided to schedule a time for me to be induced. My mom isn't going to be back from Europe until the 15th, and the doctor said that she felt comfortable waiting, so we are scheduled to be induced on July 19th. I have a doctor's appointment and a sonogram on Monday, and assuming there aren't any dramatic changes, that date will stick. If they find that my lack of growth is seriously hindering her growth, they will induce earlier, but the plan is to wait until the 19th. The 19th is 2 weeks prior to my due date, so I will be 38 weeks along according to my due date, and 35 1/2 weeks along size wise (according to last week's sonogram). She will be tiny, but as long as she is healthy we are okay with that. My doctor was looking at the sonogram results from last week and said "Well, she will NOT be a fat baby."

I can't believe that we are having Katie in 11 days. I feel like I have so much to do that I haven't done yet. I know that most of it is silly and doesn't even matter, but I feel like I need to do it. For example, I was cleaning the edges of the microwave with a toothpick...really? How often is Katie going to be crawling inside the microwave licking the corners? It's amazing how I can feel so ready to not be pregnant anymore and at the same time feel so unready to actually have Katie here. I have accepted the fact that I will never feel ready, but it hasn't stopped me from trying my hardest. At least I have some sort of "deadline." At our appointment yesterday, Matt had asked the doctor what the plan would be if in 3 1/2 or 4 weeks Katie still wasn't growing the way she should, and the doctor said "oh, we won't be able to wait that long." This prompted the question "well, when should we expect to get to that point." It was a question that we had been wondering for a while, but I think we weren't exactly prepared to ask. Sitting in that room and hearing that she didn't think we could wait 2 weeks was kind of an eye opener. I had many feelings rushing through my body. I think the first thing that I felt was panic, but almost instantly I felt relief. I had been on pins and needles all week, not knowing if we were going to have to induce this week. I have been worried for the past 3 or 4 weeks that when I went to my doctor's appointment we were going to have to induce immediately. This took so much stress off of me. I think I will still be a little concerned on Monday when I go in for my sonogram, but overall, I am more at ease than I have been in the last month. Now when people ask me how much longer I have, I don't have to say "anywhere from a week to 6 weeks." I assume that I won't get any sleep the night before I go into labor, but it's a good trade-off. So, it looks like Katie will be here in 11 days!!

Update on Katie

My doctor is out of town this week, which means I had to meet with a different doctor yesterday. I was a little uneasy about seeing a different doctor, especially since this pregnancy hasn't been an ideal pregnancy. However, it turned out fine. He is really smart and a very kind person. Even though he was just seeing me one time and it was just a check-up he seemed genuinely concerned about our pregnancy. He gave us suggestions to help with the morning sickness, and hopefully within a couple of days we will see some improvements.

I had to go back to the doctor today. My uterus is still measuring small and the doctor wanted to have some more tests along with a sonogram to check on the baby. The way that these doctors appointments go is that I meet with the sonographer first and then I meet with my doctor. I had my sonogram done and was a little concerned, because I could see Katie's measurements and I knew that they were smaller than they should be. After the sonogram I had to sit in the waiting room for over half an hour waiting to meet with the doctor. The whole time I was sitting there worried about Katie. Finally I met with the doctor. He said that the baby was measuring at 32 weeks and 6 days instead of 35 weeks and 2 days. This means that she was measuring 17 days smaller than she should be. In the past she was measuring 8 days smaller, so this is a significant difference. The doctor said that even though she was 2 1/2 weeks smaller than she should be, he felt comfortable not making any decisions right now. Since he is not our normal doctor, it would make sense that he wants to wait and have our doctor make any major decisions, and it is comforting that he feels confident that it is safe to wait a week to do anything.

In previous meetings with our doctor, she thought that due to the size of my uterus eventually Katie's growth would decline and it would be safer to induce labor than to have her stay inside me and have her growth restricted. When I met with Dr. Tovar today, he had the same reaction, but wanted to wait a week until Dr. Collins came back to make the decision. This means that Katie isn't in any immediate danger, but that being induced next week is more of a reality than we had originally anticipated. This doesn't mean that we will for sure be induced next week, it just means that we know that her growth is declining.

This is not the ideal situation, but we are thankful that it is not as bad as it could be. Right now we could use all of the prayers that we can get, and are trying to think positively. If Katie has a lot of growth progress this week, maybe we can keep her inside a little longer. Although we would prefer to hold of on delivery for a while, in the end we just want her to be healthy. We trust that God will be with us through all of this and that in the end all will be okay.

Marybeth

Sleep...or lack there of

I have reached the point in my pregnancy where I can't seem to get comfortable when going to bed, no matter what I do. I know that they say you should lay down on your left side, but anytime I lay on my side (left or right), Katie starts kicking and won't stop until I move. You are not supposed to lay on your back because it affects the blood flow to the baby, and for obvious reasons I can't lay on my stomach. I think part of the problem is the lack of growth of my uterus. Katie doesn't have that much room as it is, and when I lay on my side it takes some of that space away. I can get over the pain that I feel when I lay down and how every position seems to be uncomfortable, but having someone kick you constantly until you move, I just can't get used to that. It also makes me a little worried. I don't want to lay in a position that might be harmful to Katie...I know it may be unlikely to harm her, but with my lack of growth, you just never know. Last night I ended up moving to the chair in the living room to sleep. I woke up sore, but at least I was able to find a position that didn't cause Katie to go crazy.

I suppose we weren't meant to be comfortable in our last month of pregnancy. I mean, could you imagine wanting to stay pregnant forever? I sure couldn't. I know someone who was worried about becoming a mom and wanted to stay pregnant. She said that taking care of the baby was easier when it was inside her....she must have had a better pregnancy then me. I have a hard enough time making sure that the baby gets the nutrients that she needs, let alone being able to provide nutrition for myself. Don't get me wrong, I know that taking care of a child is no piece of cake...I worry all the time about what kind of mom I'm going to be. Will I know what I need to do? How many mistakes am I going to make? What if I don't know some of the important things that all mothers know? However, not only am I excited about meeting Katie, but I am excited about not being pregnant anymore. I am ready to not feel sick everyday, and I definitely feel like I have more control of Katie when she is here as opposed to when she is inside me. I know that probably doesn't seem to make much sense...but I can tell you right now that Katie has more control over me right now than I have over her.

Maybe the lack of control that I have over Katie has something to do with my need for order in the house. I think I need something to have control over. I feel the need to have everything clean. Yesterday I spent hours making a calendar with a list of chores that need to be done daily, several times a week, once a week, or 1-2 times a month. I have been thinking about the whole nesting thing a lot lately. Is it really a desire to have everything clean and safe for the baby? Will an infant really be affected if I don't scrub the kitchen counters several times a day? I mean, she is not exactly going to be up and moving around and probably won't even come near the kitchen counters for a while. Is nesting really a way for women to gain some control. I mean, from the start of a pregnancy, a woman loses a lot of control over her body. It grows, no matter what you do (unless of course you are me). You get sick all the time. You have to pee all the time. In reality, you have no control over your own body. Maybe we do it for the sense of control. In the end it is probably a good reaction; preparing for the arrival of a child is important. It just makes me wonder if we really do it for that reason. I suppose I shouldn't dwell on it and I should just fulfill my desire to have a clean house. I mean, why question a good thing? Why put something positive in a negative light? Why delude yourself into thinking that you have any control when in reality, from the time that this baby was conceived, all control was lost. Have I mentioned that I love Katie :-)

Talk Radio

I'm a music guy. I played drums for four years, piano for six years, and trumpet for the last eighteen years of my life. So when I'm on my way home from work, what do I do with the car radio? Of course, I flip on some talk radio.

For the last year I've been listening to this fella name Michael Medved. He's a very conservative talk show host, which instantly turns some people off. And even though most would describe me as something similar, I have come to greatly dislike the Rush Limbaughs and Glenn Becks of the world. But this Medved character is different. First of all, he actually has discussions with his guests and callers rather than interrupt them as soon as a single idea pops into their his head. He doesn't have to say something shocking and controversial or rely on a persona to attract an audience. He has logical discussions and invites listeners from around the country to participate. People that have complete opposite view points love to appear on his show and call in. Every day when I flip it on, I get to hear different view points debated on a large range of subjects. There aren't many shows on TV or radio that make me think on a daily basis. And this show makes me think about things that are important. (...unlike some shows that make me think about smoke monsters and time travel. Thank you J.J. Abrams.)

I can't really do Mr. Medved's show justice in a little blog post though. All I can say is that it keeps me on my toes and helps me to continue to think and learn about our society, culture, religion, government and politics.